All this talk of blood and iron

All experience is transient.

In this moment, what I speak or write may be the truth of my experience, but in the next it will become something else.

This is pretty cool:

http://www.odditycentral.com/pics/meet-the-real-life-invisible-man.html

god... damn it. fuck you!!~111!!!1

really digging 45 grave right now. i hate all the excessive information included in this youtube post but i like the single + b-side together. i don't like the way wax sounds live but from the 45 it sounds great... reminds me of melvins a little/certain parts.



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x-ray spex germ free adolescents sounds better than ever this afternoon



also

i can't control my fingers i can't control my toes
oh no oh oh oh oh

Freight train, freight train, run so fast
Freight train, freight train, run so fast
Please don't tell what train I'm on
They won't know what route I've gone

When I am dead and in my grave
No more good times here I crave
Place the stones at my head and feet
Tell them all that I've gone to sleep

Freight train, freight train, run so fast
Freight train, freight train, run so fast
Please don't tell what train I'm on
They won't know what route I've gone

When I die, Lord, bury me deep
Way down on old Chestnut street
Then I can hear old Number 9
As she comes rolling by

Freight train, freight train, run so fast
Freight train, freight train, run so fast
Please don't tell what train I'm on
They won't know what route I've gone

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I ain’t lookin’ to compete with you
Beat or cheat or mistreat you
Simplify you, classify you
Deny, defy or crucify you
All I really want to do
Is, baby, be friends with you

No, and I ain’t lookin’ to fight with you
Frighten you or tighten you
Drag you down or drain you down
Chain you down or bring you down
All I really want to do
Is, baby, be friends with you

I ain’t lookin’ to block you up
Shock or knock or lock you up
Analyze you, categorize you
Finalize you or advertise you
All I really want to do
Is, baby, be friends with you

I don’t want to straight-face you
Race or chase you, track or trace you
Or disgrace you or displace you
Or define you or confine you
All I really want to do
Is, baby, be friends with you

I don’t want to meet your kin
Make you spin or do you in
Or select you or dissect you
Or inspect you or reject you
All I really want to do
Is, baby, be friends with you

I don’t want to fake you out
Take or shake or forsake you out
I ain’t lookin’ for you to feel like me
See like me or be like me
All I really want to do
Is, baby, be friends with you

I am a man of constant sorrow
I've seen trouble all my days
I'll say goodbye to Colorado
Where I was born and partly raised.

Your mother says I'm a stranger
My face you'll never see no more
But there's one promise, darling:
I'll see you on God's golden shore.

Through this open world I'm about to trouble
Through ice and snows, sleet and rain
I'm about to ride that morning railroad
Perhaps I'll die on that train.

I'm going back to Colorado
The place that I started from
If I had known how bad you'd treat me honey
I never would have come.

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Well there's one kind of favor I'll ask for you
Well there's one kind of favor I'll ask for you
There's just one kind of favor I'll ask for you
You can see that my grave is kept clean.

And there's two white horses following me
And there's two white horses following me
I got two white horses following me
Waiting on my burying ground.

Did you ever hear that coffin sound?
Did you ever hear that coffin sound?
Did you ever hear that coffin sound?
Means another poor boy is underground.

Did you ever hear them church bells toll?
Did you ever hear them church bells toll?
Did you ever hear them church bells toll?
Means another poor boy is dead and gone.

And my heart stopped beating and my hands turned cold
And my heart stopped beating and my hands turned cold
And my heart stopped beating and my hands turned cold
Now I believe what the Bible told.

There's just one last favor I'll ask for you
And there's one last favor I'll ask for you
There's just one last favor I'll ask for you
See that my grave is kept clean.

yes, etc., my fucking heart, bitch. that you can't have.

i didn't really do you no harm, but you fucked me over a thousand times for that. these lights on the ground burn like artificial stars for us, passionately we live our lives for us, still non-plussed as us, i ain't even holdin' a grudge for us.

step into the realm, you're bound to get caught
and from this worldly life, you'll soon depart

yo, I walk a-cross this, world that's deceptive
beats are perfected, the ghetto's infested
with more destruction, my vocal eruption
was speakin bout corruption with no introduction
approach me with caution cause i spark losses
m-illitant the rap arson, marchin
leavin niggaz stiff like i'm starchin, departin
hollywood sambos and jokes just like martin
i'm the type of nigga that belongs in a ward
with a mic and a cord, to hold your head with a sword
some proclaim lames, callin theyselves bold
they shall be flawed, when the claps applaud
if this a point of life, one i can't afford
then i have to get sheist and i deal in fraud
now back to the topic of, the rap philosopher
with more drama than a soap opera
who stops the propoganda, the hot block commander
puttin a halt to all the backtalk and slander
warn every challenger, about the silencer
muzzle in your mouth for the days that's on the calendar

step into the realm you're bound to get caught,
and from this worldy life you'll soon depart

i'm from the valley of the heavyheads, watch the ghetto pre-medical
undergrads, and steady red faces of stone
eyes are crevices, life like a double negative
philly criminal, I rhyme my, dirt tariq already did
buildin this, fifth foundation in the wilderness
thoughtless, trespass and enter thoughts fortress
limitless entrance, paid, to the order of the
cypher slaughterer, my mic slappin you senseless
defenseless, niggaz never movin me inches
the beat fifth, invisible in the trenches
afficiando, awesome hip-hop drug problem
fuck stardom, and chickens up in gotham
poltergeist, slit or choke the mic, til it scream to me
STOP THAT, cash we conveniently got that
i stroll through your scenery cocked back
me and hot mack, the nine-eight, el dorado cadillac jacks

step into the realm you're bound to get caught
and from this worldy life you'll soon depart

yo, the feet that i walk with
the ears that i hear with, the eyes that i see with
the mouth that i talk with, the terror that i stalk with
now it's time to spark shit

look God, i walk around a little edgy already
ya'll MC's come into my face, but my aim's steady
m-illitant is skilled in most strategic plan
i float across seas and, breezed across land
standin, in these thoughts of murder within
the structure of this world that's corrupted with sin
i'm always hittin, to leave MC's guessin for
any transgression, in my perimeter
there will be a blessing, and your explicit intoxicated
buddha session, to stop stressin
me with the madness, puttin niggaz on my had list
no sadness is felt, you shuffled and your cards get dealt
jim carrey ass niggaz start to melt
impact like a buckle bein swung from off a belt
any help for shelter, when in the realms of a welter
my weight will tilt ya, hold alignments and change your filter
my attitude a product of society
so sometimes for gratitude, you know you can't rely on me
niggaz eyein me, with looks of they anxiety
wonderin what's in my heart, velocity or piety
yo, it depends on which one, you bring to surface
at times I get trife, but what to worship is my purpose
malik b blend with the tree, to spot an enemy
you cloggin me up cat, now vacate the vicinity

yo, the feet that i walk with
the ears that i hear with, the eyes that i see with
the mouth that i talk with, the terror that i stalk with
now it's time to spark shit

i'm symbolic to a ballot, it's abdul malik
don't approach with bullshit, i'm quick to call it invalid
route through your district, we keep it simplistic
no need for the rapper to talk, put it on halt
show me the vault, or the safe, cause i'm on the paper chase
wade through route states for bout thirty down my waist
i'm tryin to get it, these rain bottlin thoughts become acidic
with one in the chamber, ready to aim and spit it
a girlfriend and team made nigga cash just splintered
i take what you got to give, cause i got to live
the last hour, i bet your ass
might act up, but i still can pass dowa
i'm usin new ways to try to reach these better days
instead of tryin to take you under i just make you wonder
i still fast, make salaat, and pay zakaat
i didn't make haj yet, but that's my next project
livin two lives, one of turn and one with true lies
keepin a ho, knowin these hands into my du'a
in the quarters livin modest with my nigga trotter
i circle my foes, like tawaf around the kaba
i used to live life, like there was no manana
now i'm treatin every breath, like it was your honor
i'm mill-itill-itant with the fifth that stand firm
like a pillar, i'm i and T-L like manilla

yo, the feet that i walk with
the ears that i hear with, the eyes that i see with
the mouth that i talk with, the terror that i stalk with
now it's time to spark shit

this is what it's all about

hand in glove
the sun shines out of our behinds
no, it's not like any other love
this one is different - because it's us

hand in glove
we can go wherever we please
and everything depends upon
how near you stand to me

and if the people stare
then the people stare
oh, i really don't know and i really don't care

kiss my shades

hand in glove
the good people laugh
yes, we may be hidden by rags
but we've something they'll never have

hand in glove
the sun shines out of our behinds
yes, we may be hidden by rags
but we've something they'll never have

and if the people stare
then the people stare
oh, i really don't know and i really don't care

kiss my shades, oh

so, hand in glove i stake my claim
i'll fight to the last breath

if they dare touch a hair on your head
i'll fight to the last breath

for the good life is out there somewhere
so stay on my arm, you little charmer

but i know my luck too well
yes, i know my luck too well
and i'll probably never see you again
i'll probably never see you again
i'll probably never see you again
oh


listen to the smiths and read minus because you forgot how to sleep again and you'd die for a cigarette even though you quit a week ago. youre all nerves all nerves. all fucking nerves.

last night was the mckenzies' last show. they've seen me through two relationships and bein' single in between. seen 'em at two westfests, chances, notsuohs, the mink, mangos, boondocks, and they'd really become my favorite houston band to watch/dance to. the first time i saw them everybody rushed up on stage to dance with them, and the last time i saw them they got on the dance floor and danced with us. i almost cried a little. i still have silly string in my hair.

the other bands all laid down some dope ass, shit, too, of course. also highlights: di throws an ice cube at justice's head and he turns around, throws it back and hits me square in the nose with it makes it up to me with a free drink and the oklahomos wtf?

i've had a really long weekend. sleep what's that? seen a lot of people i haven't seen in a long time. highlight was probably seeing matt h. at poisongirl. wtf, january? and i never go there, either, because every time i do someone i'm with starts yelling at somebody's abusive boyfriend or i have one too many glasses of absinthe/long islands and start turning over trash cans.

i just got a job//hooray!

i'm so excited
happy, and caffeinated
i might have a stroke

He had a stroke at the age of 24
It could have been a brilliant career
Painting lines in a school that was too well known
Painting lines with a friend that had gone before
She challenged everyone to a fight
But the people all backed down
And they ran her out of town
Cause she drank and swore and spoke
Out of turn, she was the village joke

She had a stroke at the age of 24
It could have been a brilliant career
Getting clients to finance her strategies
Filling time in on Safeways on Saturday
She wears the clothes of an emperor
But her paintings are a sham
And they're going for a grand
When the dealers come to view
Do they ever see the real you?

He had a stroke at the age of 24
It could have been a brilliant career
Selling lies to the boys with the old Dansettes
Pulling the wool, playing the fool, it's no wonder that
He is dribbling spit tonight
And the one he sent away
Was the only one who stayed
With a spoon and a decent book
And you can tell by the way she looks she is sorry and resigned
As he wets himself for the final time

it's my birthday. i'm 22. i'm still here. got in a really bad car accident a couple nights ago, passenger side got creamed, and we spun out off the road into a telephone pole and ripped a street sign out of the ground that went flying into the back of a parked car. but i came out with just a bruise on my right shoulder. an airbag saved my life.

I like to think of myself as the white Flava Flav.

YO BITCHES WASSUP?!

houston's me own personal version of hell,
travel's me own personal version of heaven.

THANK YOU FIREWATER!!!!

flash already posted this one,
but i like it a lot so fuck it!

kcrepresent

just because you're better than me
doesn't mean i'm lazy
just because you're going forwards
doesn't mean i'm going backwards

i'm so. fuckin'. tired. but i can't. sleep. shoot me.shootmeh.shootmehhhhhhhhhhhhglkdgjfhd BEHHHHHHHHH BEHHHHHHHHHHHH

tonight i'm crying my eyes out
for all the problems
i can't solve for the people i love.
for all the things i wish i could fuckin' do.
i love you i love you i love you
i'm so sorry i couldn't give you the solutions that you needed.
i solve my problems by drinking and writing.
but i love you i love you i love you
i wish i could be of help
fuck how i wish i could be of help.

i wrote a poem

RED BULL
RED FUCKING BULL
FUCKING RED FUCKING BULL!!!!!
MARLBORO REDS!
RED RED RED!
FUCK YEAH!

flash took 22 pictures in kansas city, of the charles mansion where we stayed for a couple of nights, and on top of jane's roof where we slept for a night. thought i'd post 'em for those who are curious, sorry that there are so many but i felt like if i didn't post all of 'em it wouldn't do our trip justice, and i even feel like there aren't enough pictures to really give you enough of a feel for the place. at least i put 'em behind a cut, i almost didn't because i'm perverse and enjoy annoying the crap out of people.

( kansas city )

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leavin' for kansas city soon.
check list:

mix cd - check
thermos full o' green/black tea/soy milk - check
cooler full o' agua - check
shirts, pants, underoos, toothbrushntoothpaste, socks cell phone charger stuffed quickly and sloppily into backpack - check
perhaps more than what would be considered a healthy dose of enthusiasm/excitement - check
pills - check
need: one time use camera + more tobaccy + a shot of caffeine intravenous-stylee

still re-orienting myself to reality after the three spliffs i smoked yesterday. should be aight.
missing the girl.
i think i've got a case of writer's block, or something. or perhaps just brain block. i've been feeling highly uncreative lately. when i get back i'm sure i'll have some things to write, though.